Last time we talked about discovering what God says about you. This is the first part of our parenting journey. When we have a healthy and truthful understanding of ourselves, we can then lead our family. This is an ongoing process, and it might take a lifetime to fully understand our true identity. But if we take the first step of self-discovery we can then then help our children on their own path.
One Size Does Not Fit All!
The second part of this epic adventure is learning how to discover what God says about each one of your kids.
If you have more than one kid I bet you have already noticed how how vastly different each one is from the others. It is amazing to me that we have four children, each pulling from the same gene pool, and yet somehow they are each so different! As you go through each new stage you realize that parenting keeps you on your toes. Once you finally figure out something that works for one kid, then the next kid messes up the system. This can be one of the most annoying things about parenting. It would be so much easier if they were a one-size-fits-all type of bunch. But where is the adventure in that, right?!?!
Because of this, it is important to understand the distinctions between your kids. We need to get rid of the mindset of training our children to be who WE want them to be and do what WE want them to do. Instead our focus should be to learn how God created each one uniquely. It is our job to discover what makes them tick, what makes them come alive, and what depletes their soul. We need to see our children as unique individuals. When we understand that God created them on purpose for a purpose we can see them through Christ’s eyes. When we learn to speak their language, we can reach the depths of their heart and make a difference in their life.
Go Back to School!
We need to commit to being a lifelong student of our children. We must study them intently! For example, how do they react to the rules that we set? We will usually have the same rules that apply to all the kids, but we will explain the rules differently to each child. Our goal is to reach their heart and train them to love the Lord with their words and actions. One child will just need to be told the rules, in great detail and precisely, and they will follow them. Another will need to know the “Why” behind the rules. Still others will need to know the consequences of breaking the rules. We need to commit to learning the uniqueness of each child. It is then that we can see each one of them flourish in the gifts and calling the Lord has placed on their life.
The Best Teacher
The more kids you have the more overwhelming this task can be. But take heart, we have the perfect trick up our sleeves that we would like to share with you. It is actually not a trick, but a person. His name is Holy Spirit. God has given us the perfect Helpmate in this parenting journey. He is our Guide. We need to seek Him daily, if not hourly. Ok, sometimes minute by minute! God the Father created each of our children. He knows how they tick,and what they need. God will use the Holy Spirit to speak to us and to guide us in all things. He will prompt us to know when to keep our words simple and few and when to have a long conversation. Holy Spirit will help us know how to speak their language. The Holy Spirit is here to help us lean into that promise. Invite Him into every situation so that you will walk in wisdom and clarity.
Over the years we have sought counsel from wise elders, read books, and done classes. But when it comes down to it, the Holy Spirit has been our best guide. When we tune in to His voice, His leading is always spot on. We have seen the biggest change and impact in our own lives and in the lives of our children when we walk in step with Him.
Taking the truths in Scripture and leading your children to the Lord is a high calling. At Our Purposeful Life we will share many tools and lessons we have learned about leaning into the Holy Spirit. As we said last week, the first step to doing this well is to work on your relationship with the Holy Spirit. Learn to communicate with Him. It is only when we learn to talk to and hear from the Holy Spirit that real transformation occurs!
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