As I sat there in the middle of my living room looking at my overly stubborn 2 year old, thoughts of doubt flooded my mind. “I am a failure! I can’t do this! I don’t have what it takes to be his mom! I have no idea what I am doing! I quit!” This wasn’t the first time I’d had these thoughts. My youngest child had made me realize that I was not as great at this parenting thing as I once thought. It was a constant battle of the wills, and on that day I was sorely losing.
To Scream or Not to Scream?
Defeated, I sat there as a lump on the floor. Have you ever had a situation that has left you defeated? Maybe it was a job loss or a wayward child. Maybe you are currently facing yet another bad doctor’s report. Or maybe it is another conversation that didn’t go the way you wanted it. This time for me it was my 2 year old Tasmanian Devil. I didn’t know whether to cry or to scream. This time I chose to scream.
Thankfully I did have enough wits about me to realize that if I started to scream, I might scare him. It might have even drawn the immediate attention of my other three children. This would have for sure sent us all into another round of crazy. So I had this brilliant, or not so brilliant, idea. I told Jacob we were going to have a fun contest. First mommy would scream, and then he could scream. He was a little hesitant at first, but then he quickly jumped into the game. We went back and forth until I felt relief of the pinned up emotions inside. He thought it was hilarious! I was just grateful it relieved some of the pressure I was feeling, at least temporarily.
I was able to get up off the floor and tackle the next parenting task laid before me. But the thoughts almost immediately came flooding back. This time with added gusto. Doubt and discouragement then took a nasty turn and evolved into fear and frustration. My “I am” statements turned into “I will never.” My mind was spinning, my body had a dull ache and my soul had a sense of emptiness.
Have you been there before? Wondering if you have what it takes? Are you confused on how to navigate the roadblocks and frustrations that life throws at you? You are not alone! We have all been there! Life is hard and it can bring us to tears and make us scream. But what are we supposed to do when we get to this point? Cry, or scream?
In Psalm 34:17-19 we find a beautiful reminder that it is okay to do both.
“The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.”
Sweet friend, do you know that we are designed to need a rescuer? God did not design you to do this life alone. He desires to walk alongside you, to help you. Yes, you will have troubles. That is an unfortunate guarantee in this world. Because of sin, things won’t always go how we want or how we plan. We are also constantly dealing with other humans, big and small, who have flesh. Their flesh and our flesh are constantly at war with our spirits, and depending on the day each one takes a turn at winning. However, don’t lose heart! God promises to rescue us from ALL of our troubles. Not just the big ones, but the little ones too. All means ALL.
God wants to help you teach your son how to stop throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the Target aisle. He wants to lead you to the right type of school for your children. He also wants to help you know how to reach your daughter’s rebellious heart. God wants to lead you to the right job. He wants to heal your broken body and your broken heart. God is great at the life changing moments, but He also loves to be a part of the everyday situations where we find ourselves. He wants to help you decide how you should spend your evening together as a family. He wants to help you know which diapers to buy so you don’t have as many blow outs. God wants to pick your library books so that you can sit by the fire and have a good belly laugh. No problem or situation is too big or too small. He wants to be a part of it all.
It’s Okay to Cry AND Scream!
When you feel like screaming, cry out to God. This verse promises that He hears everyone who calls out to Him. God will not force Himself into your situation. He wants to be invited in. I guarantee He will answer, if we call out and stop to listen. He loves to help His daughters. God has creative problem solving skills that He is just waiting to share.
When you feel like crying, know He is there. Right there! This verse promises that He is close. He is ready to wrap His arms around you and speak truth to your broken heart. God wants to speak life over your situation. He wants you to know that it isn’t finished yet. You have what it takes! With Him all things are possible! In Him peace and joy can be restored! With Him hurts can be healed and wounds can be mended!
Are you in a season where God feels distant? Does it seem like He doesn’t care? Remind your thoughts and emotions about the truth of Psalm 34:17-19. Friend, believe that God sees you. Let that sink in. Nothing that happens to you is unseen by our loving God. He knows the pain, the burdens, and the fears you struggle with. So take courage friend, you can do this. When you find yourself in the middle of your living room wondering whether to cry or scream, do both. Call out to God. Talk to the only one who can truly rescue you and give lasting relief from your troubles.
I come before you broken and defeated. I am in need of a rescuer. Thank you that your Word says that if we cry out to you, you promise to deliver us from all our troubles. I bring this trouble to you today. (Share what is on your heart.) Thank you Lord that you promise to be near when we are brokenhearted. Comfort my heart, Lord. Show me your plan for this situation. I know in this world we will have many troubles, so I am so thankful that I do not have to do this alone. Thank you that you have a rescue plan and that you are eager and ready to lead me out of my troubles. Holy Spirit, I invite you into my situation. Show me the way to go. Speak Lord, for your daughter is listening.
Now spend some time in the presence of the Lord. Write down anything that comes to mind. Go to the Word and find the promises you can stand on to overcome the trials in your life. God has a plan. Trust Him to rescue you and lead the way.
Additional Scriptures to study:
Psalm 25:4-5, 8-9 // Psalm 28:6-8 // Psalm 33:18-22 // Psalm 34 // Psalm 40 // Matthew 19:26// John 14:16-17, 26-27 // John 16:33 // 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 // Galatians 5:16 // Philippians 4:6-9 // James 1:2-8, 17 //