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So How

In our last post we covered our identity as men.  As men, we are sons of God, our Good Father.  And as His sons, we have to understand that He has made us to be spiritual leaders in our homes.  If we understand that truth, that’s the first step.  Accepting our God-given identity is where we begin our transformation.  And it is the most important step, because if you start from the wrong identity, even success will bring pain.  Why?  Because we will believe that our success came from our own hard work, our own effort, and our own intelligence.  And sooner or later, you either have a fall because of your pride, or you have a fall because it stops working and you have to face your own failure.  But when you understand your identity as a son, then you are free to follow your Father’s example.  Fulfilling the role of spiritual leader shouldn’t feel like a heavy burden.  When you understand that God is right there with you, it will be a light load on your shoulders.  You know that it’s not all up to you.

But now what?  Where do we start?  What’s the secret to doing this well?

Ask and Listen

The secret is very simple.  All we have to do is follow Jesus’ example.  He modeled spiritual leadership for us when He walked the path.   (Don’t you prefer to follow leaders who have actually walked the path themselves?  Who aren’t afraid to get in the trenches with you?)  When He walked the path, this was His secret.  He Asked His Father what to do.  He got up early to pray, when needed.  And He asked God what to do in each situation.  In fact, He tells us how to follow His example pretty clearly:

The Father who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it. (John 12:49)

You don’t have to figure it out yourself.  You just have to ask God what to say.  And then say it.

And here’s another important verse:

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  (John 14:26)

This shows the promise that God hasn’t left us alone. We have a Helper to be with us every step of the way.

Just as a bonus, we have this promise from brother James:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.  (James 1:5)

Goodness knows that I need wisdom.  All day, every day! So I just need to ask Him for it.

All of this shows us that the first step to spiritual leadership is to ask God what to do and listen for His voice.


How does it work?  The way that this works is through connection.   Specifically, connection with your Father, through the Holy Spirit.   You have the Ultimate Good, Good Father on 24-7 speed dial!  Any time you face an uncertain situation, ask Him what to do.  Any time you are irritated or offended or disrespected, ask Him how to react.  Any time your Inner Wesel rises up, ask God for help, then remind yourself Whose son you are.  Any time you are unsure or feel like a Poser, go to Him.  He’s got you.  He has made you for a purpose, and He is faithful to equip you.

This gives you the general idea.  In our next post we will go through some practical actions you can take to make this a reality.

Start with Identity

Ask and Listen.

Then get to work…


Interested in more?  Read the next post in the series for our 6 simple things you can do to lead your family: 

Are You A Spiritual Instigator?

Don’t forget the previous posts in the series:

I’m Not That Guy

A Spiritual Leader’s First 2 Steps


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