Some days you just have to laugh or else you will cry. Some days go super smooth and others, well, are completely out of control. I wish we would have written down all of the things we’ve said through the years that you’d never think you would say as a parent. If I did I know it would have been a New York Times best seller by now!
As we head into the holiday season I wanted to share “one of those” days we had in the Hanson household a long time ago. My hope is that you realize we all have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. We all have times when we lose our cool or want to give up. But try in those moments to pause for a moment, laugh and then pray. Remember that tomorrow is a new day with a clean slate. You can do it!
When my kids were little, ranging from 2-9, I was exhausted and ready to quit. One weekend I was asking Nathan for help. I explained to him all the mental and physical battles I face in the day. And how by the end of some days I don’t have a lot of fight left in me. Unfortunately, he often sees me at my worst. That night I was willing to listen to any suggestions he might have for me. Well, he didn’t have any great pearls of wisdom that night but it all changed a few days later.
The Right Question
I went out for a couple of hours and Nathan had the four kids to himself for one and half hours before he was to put them to bed. When I got home he reminded me about my dilemma and the question I had asked him earlier in the week. The question of “Why can’t I just be happy and joyful instead of frustrated and angry?” My short time away had given him time to consider my question and this was his response.
He informed me that he thought I was asking the wrong question. Instead of asking “Why can’t I be happy and joyful?”, the better question is “Why wouldn’t I be angry?” Puzzled by his response, he went on to explain how the last 90 minutes had gone.
Epic Turn of Events
- Jacob threw all the silverware from the dishwasher into the trash.
- Luke spilled all of his blue Fun Dip all over himself and the floor.
- Jacob dumped the salt shaker.
- The kids destroyed the packaging that our new TV came in and Styrofoam pellets were all over the house.
- Rebekah hit Luke with a broom accidentally.
- Jacob hit Luke with a broom on purpose.
- Rebekah sucked up Luke’s shirt with the vacuum…while he was still wearing the shirt.
- And the kids argued with each other the whole time.
Once he had finished the run down he exclaimed, “With all the things that happen in a day, why wouldn’t you be mad?” Relief flooded over me. I wasn’t making it up! The season of littles is hard! To hear my husband say he understood and finally got it, was music to my ears and relief to my weary soul.
In it Together!
So dear friend, I understand your dilemma. I know how hard it is on some days to keep your cool. Parenthood is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Training our children causes all the emotions to occur and sometimes all at the same time. But remember this job is priceless. It matters! You are making an eternal difference!
In the middle of the chaos we need to constantly remind ourselves that we do not have to do it alone. God hand-picked you to be the parent of those precious kids. Even if at times you think they are acting like aliens from another planet, they are yours. God has equipped you to be all that they need. God will equip you to lead and guide them. You have what it takes because the Holy Spirit is inside of you. On the days that you blow it, and we all have those days, ask them for forgiveness and move on. On days when your patience is running out, take a moment to yourself and ask God to fill you. It is important that we give ourselves a little grace and ask for help. It is okay to need help. We all need it!
When the day comes during this holiday season when you are struggling, remember there is another mom out there fighting the same battle. You are not alone. Another mom and dad who understand and are in there right with you. You are understood. More importantly there is a God in heaven that sees your pain and your frustration. He is there ready to comfort and guide. All we have to do is ask! You do not have to do this alone! Parenting is a team effort, and God is the perfect coach.
Keep fighting for their hearts. Remember with God you can be content in all situations. You can do all things!!
“Lord, today I choose to be more like you. I choose to walk in kindness and patience towards my husband and my kids. Lord, I know that I cannot do this alone. I need you every step of the way. Let me see them through your eyes. Give me the words to say to minister to their hearts. Give me the strength to pause, ask you for help and follow your spirit’s leading. Thank-you that I am not alone. In your name I pray, Amen.”